I know… it’s an oxymoron.  But that is the best way to describe our feelings of late with respect to the “Eye Wars” that both of our boys are battling.  Christopher is doing well.  He doesn’t see the doctor again for a while.  His pressures were comfortable the last time we saw Dr. Greenidge and we are hoping that stays that way for a very long time.  We were very worried about Wayne over the past few weeks.  So worried, in fact, that we took him to see our surgeon just a few weeks ago because he was tearing a lot and his eyes were having a hard time opening… especially, the last eye to have surgery… the left one.

The doctor really trusts our judgement, now, and decided to move up the EUA to Yesterday, Friday.  He said there is a lot more redness than he would like to see and but the pressures were great.  He advised us to put him back on Tobradex four times a day for 2 weeks to help the eye heal a little more quickly.  We will still be doing another EUA in a couple of weeks to see how that is working.  For now though… we are happy.  (Notice I put a period instead of an exclamation… “cautiously enthusiastic” if you know what i mean.)

On a completely unrelated note:  Yesterday we all went to the county fair and had a blast.  My entire family threw a bunch of ping pong balls at a bunch of fish bowls and (lucky us) won 3 fish.  We currently have a fish tank because we won a goldfish at the last Strawberry Festival earlier this year (once again… lucky us.)  We elected to take 2 fish and a rubber duckie.  Christopher named his fish “white face” (can you guess why? lol) and Kevin, who is our oft not mentioned middle son with no glaucoma issues, named his fish “water” because Kevin said he “likes water.”  On the way home from the fair the bag Christopher was holding that contained his fish sprung a leak.  He noticed and, being the very sensitive child he is, screamed in a terrified yell that his bag was leaking and that his fish would die if we couldn’t do something about it.  We saved the fish, thankfully and placed both fish in our tank when we got home.  Yah.

Then tonight when we got home from our errands… Christopher’s fish was dead.  I had to break the news to him.  I braced myself because I know what a sensitive child he really is.  He truly cares about things and is truly affected by things that other kids could care less about.  I was able to talk to him in a very quiet, calm area and as I started to explain it to him… he said “Stop, don’t tell me… I know!” and he realized that his fish had died.  He cried for over an hour and I had to actually lay down with him and hold him until he fell asleep.  He and I did bury the fish and he was very strong as he pushed in the first few handfuls of dirt over the fish in the hole.  His tears, appropriately, poured off of his cheeks and into the hole as he sat on his knees and pushed the dirt in.

Later as he tried to calm himself down, and couldn’t, he cried out that “All of his family is dying…” and when questioned about what he meant he recalled that his great grandmother “MeMa” died (2 years ago on July 4th) when he was 3 years old, and that his “PaPa” (my father who I still miss dearly every single day) died (last year in April.)  I mention all of this only to say that I am proud that we have raised such caring, passionate, loving children and that he has the capacity for love, sorrow, anger, happiness, understanding, and compassion.  I love all of this… but I hate seeing him in such emotional pain at only 5 years old.  Children, all of the, are amazing people with extraordinary insight into life.  As adults we seem to make things so much more than they are OR so much LESS than they should be.  Shouldn’t we have compassion for the fish that we’ve had only one night and feel that we’ve lost something when it dies?

I can’t say that I would have cared at all… until Christopher showed me the true meaning of love and compassion tonight.  Once again… HE is teaching ME.  He is my hero.  Love you bud…

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