Whew… More exhaustion!  Yesterday, Saturday, Christopher woke up with the Croup!  Yikes!  This is, unfortunately, the third time he has had it in about a year.  He really doesn’t get sick much… and when he does, it isn’t that bad.  But the croup always makes him sound soooo bad. 

Last night, we all got dressed, got our keys and wallets, and started out the door.  That was about the time Christopher’s episode of coughing and stidor calmed down.  So, instead of going to the emergency room (Last time he had to have a steroid breathing treatment) for the 2nd time this week (see one of my previous posts), we decided to call the on call nurse at our doctor’s office.  She gave us some pretty good advice for dealing with the croup.

First, it is horrible at night.  It kicks up a notch.  If it gets bad… we should take him into a hot, steamy bathroom for 20 minutes.  The moisture in the air should help the cough.  2nd, if he has more than 2 episodes of “stridor” within a 24 hour period… we need to go to the hospital or doctor right away.  Stridor is when he is breathing in – there is a high pitched wheezing sound.  3rd, a cool mist humidifier is imperative.  4th, she said we should sleep in the same room with him while he has it because croup can turn ugly really quick.  And last, if he was having difficulty breathing to the point where his belly and rib cage were “sucking in” … we should go immediately to the doctor or the hospital.  All good info!

Well, he was souding really bad… but his stridor episode subsided after the steamy bath, breathing treatment (we already knew that and had already given him the treatment by the way) so, we felt comfortable with not going to the emergency room.  I wound up sleeping in his bed with him the rest of the night.  I didn’t get much sleep at all… because I was so worried about him.  He also had a pretty good fever going on and it finally broke after his tylenol dose at 4am.  So, I finally started to sleep around 4:30am and we woke at about 9am.

Cosopt has a lot of contraindications and one of them is respiratory problems.  We aren’t supposed to be giving him those drops is he is wheezing.  So, on top of all the worry we go through… even a simple, common illness… raises our blood pressure even more!  We used the Trusopt, which is a better alternative if he has the upper respiratory problems.

Then, my sister had a birthday party today for her 2 sons.  Yah!  Normally, we would have probably skipped it… but my other sister used this gathering as a time to get some long over due, extended family pictures done.  Everyone was coming – my brother and his family from out of town, my 2 sisters and their families, my mom and dad, and my family.  We were all even wearing different color co-ordinated clothes… it was kinda a big deal…. so I had to go.  Ugh.  And yeah… the person was there that caused the episode a couple days ago.  Not much was said between the two of us.  Just some quick, cordial greetings and that was it.  Whatever.  I don’t think most people will ever understand what we go through.  I am realizing that the strength I need will only be found within myself.  I just don’t know if I’m ready to pull up that strength.  I just think that it will mean that something else will have to give.  Maybe… compassion, endurance, honesty….. something.  I’m kinda scared of that.  I guess I’ll have to deal with it eventually, but that is another post.

Christopher was sick, tired, and extremely needy and grumpy.  I was tired and grumpy.  My wife was just trying to get through it without getting mad at me for being so cranky… it was a mess.  Somehow, we made it.  But I had to leave at 2 to get Christopher into the bed for a nap.  He is a horrible mess if he doesn’t get a nap.

So, here I sit, relaxing… thinking about life, Christopher, my wife, what lies ahead… I’m still just trying to wrap my head around the fact that he’s going to have to have implants… even after 19 visits to the hospital.  Just doesn’t make sense to me.  I should be extra depressed today… but… for some reason… I’m just tired of being depressed and upset all the time… so, on a day like today… with all that we have going on… and the added stress of Christopher being sick and all of us tired… late naps… crankiness… I’m feeling a bit calm.  Weird.  I’ll take it though… I need it!